What Are BFRBs and Why They’re Common in Teens
If you’re a teen who pulls at your hair, picks at your skin, bites your nails, or chews the inside of your cheeks—you’re not alone. These are all forms of BFRBs, or Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors. They’re more than just habits—they’re often automatic, emotionally-driven behaviors that can be really hard to control.
BFRBs often show up during the teen years. Why? Because that’s when stress levels rise, bodies change, and school pressure, social life, and hormones all collide. You might start picking at your skin without realizing it, or pulling out hair while doing homework or lying in bed. It might make you feel a little better in the moment—but worse afterward.
You may feel embarrassed. You may wonder why you can’t stop. You may even think something’s wrong with you.
But here’s the truth: you’re not broken. You’re coping—and there are better ways to do it.
The Importance of Early Support and Education
Catching BFRBs early is important. The sooner you learn what’s happening and why, the sooner you can start building new habits that support your brain and body—without shame or self-blame.
This article is your go-to guide—and we’ve also included a totally free, printable workbook designed for teens with BFRBs. You’ll get tracking sheets, prompts, coping tools, and confidence boosters you can use daily.
Whether you’re just starting to notice your behavior or you’ve been struggling for years, this guide (and the workbook) will help you understand yourself better—and give your brain the calming tools it’s been craving.
Understanding BFRBs as a Teen
Why You Might Pick, Pull, or Bite
BFRBs aren’t random. They often happen when your brain is dealing with:
- Stress (exams, fights, family drama)
- Boredom (scrolling your phone or zoning out in class)
- Anxiety or overthinking
- Perfectionism (feeling like your skin or hair has to look “perfect”)
The behavior feels like it gives you control. Or relief. Or comfort. That’s because it triggers a quick hit of dopamine—a “feel good” brain chemical. But then comes the crash—when you notice what you did, or feel pain, or see marks on your body.
So you try to stop… but then you’re back at it again the next day. Not because you’re weak, but because your brain is trying to self-soothe in the only way it knows how.
It’s Not Just a Habit—It’s a Real Condition
BFRBs are recognized by doctors and therapists as a mental health condition, similar to anxiety or OCD. That means:
- You’re not making it up
- You’re not doing it for attention
- You’re not lazy, gross, or weird
And best of all? There are real strategies that can help you stop—without feeling ashamed or punished.
You don’t need to be “fixed.” You need support, structure, and tools that actually work for your unique brain.
How BFRBs Affect Teen Life
Self-Esteem and School Stress
When you live with a BFRB, everyday life can feel more complicated than it should. You might:
- Cover up spots with sleeves or makeup
- Avoid photos or school dances
- Get distracted during class or homework
- Feel anxious about being “noticed”
This can make your stress worse—which fuels more picking, pulling, or biting. That’s why coping strategies need to be compassionate and realistic, not harsh or “just stop” advice.
You deserve to feel confident in your skin—not trapped by your habits.
Social Life and Family Dynamics
BFRBs can also affect relationships. Maybe friends or siblings comment on your skin. Maybe your parents don’t understand and tell you to stop, which just makes you feel worse.
It’s not easy to explain what’s going on—especially if you don’t fully understand it yourself. That’s why education (like this guide and the workbook) is a huge first step. It gives you the words and tools to open up the conversation.
And once people understand what a BFRB really is, they’re more likely to offer the support and patience you need to heal.
Coping Strategies That Actually Work
1. Grounding and Awareness Tools
Sensory Alternatives
Your hands want to move. Your brain wants calm. So let’s give them both.
Try these sensory swaps when you feel the urge to pick or pull:
- Roll a stress ball or therapy putty
- Rub a textured stone or piece of fabric
- Use a cooling face roller
- Snap a soft hair tie on your wrist (gently!)
- Keep “picking putty” or a worry bead in your pocket
The goal isn’t to punish your hands—it’s to give them a different, safer job.
“Where Am I?” Mindfulness Exercise
This quick mental reset can stop a BFRB in its tracks:
- Name 5 things you can see.
- Name 4 things you can touch.
- Name 3 things you can hear.
- Name 2 things you can smell.
- Take 1 deep breath and name what you’re feeling.
Do this when you catch yourself mid-pick—or before going into a trigger zone (like mirrors, bed, or class).
It pulls you out of autopilot and back into your body—in a good way.
2. Fidget Tools and Hand Substitutes
Teen-Approved, Portable Fidgets
Fidgets aren’t just for little kids. The right fidget tool can make a huge difference in managing BFRB urges—especially when you’re on the go. You just need one that’s discreet, durable, and satisfying to use.
Top picks for teens include:
- Spinner rings – calming and stylish
- Slap bracelets with texture – satisfying to rub or snap gently
- Stretchy or beaded bracelets – can be twisted and rolled
- Mini slime or putty tins – pocket-sized and moldable
- Finger rollers or textured rings – small but super tactile
Keep one in your backpack, pencil pouch, or even your hoodie pocket. These are perfect for school, buses, or hanging out with friends—no one needs to know what it’s really for but you.
When and Where to Use Them
Use your fidget when:
- You feel bored or anxious
- You’re watching TV or scrolling
- You’re stuck in traffic or class
- You’re thinking of picking or pulling
Make it a reflex: urge = reach for fidget. Over time, your brain will learn this new response—and your skin and hair will thank you.
3. Creating a Skin and Hair Routine
Building a Positive, Gentle Routine
Taking care of your skin or hair can feel like a trap if you have a BFRB. But it can also become a powerful act of self-love—especially when the routine is gentle and simple.
Start with basics:
- Cleanse: Use a non-irritating face wash (avoid scrubs)
- Moisturize: Choose calming ingredients like aloe, niacinamide, or ceramides
- Protect: Use SPF during the day and maybe hydrocolloid patches at night
Keep it short, soothing, and not focused on “fixing.” The goal is care—not control.
For hair, try:
- Satin scrunchies (less pulling)
- Leave-in conditioner (adds softness)
- Gentle brushing instead of examining
Make your skincare or hair routine a calm time—not a trigger time. Play chill music, light a candle, and go slow. This teaches your body to feel safe, not scrutinized.
Skincare That Reduces Triggers
Sometimes picking is triggered by skin texture (bumps, flakes, scabs). Use skincare that:
- Soothes inflammation
- Speeds up healing
- Reduces redness without harsh ingredients
Look for:
- Cica (Centella Asiatica)
- BHA or salicylic acid pads (used gently)
- Azelaic acid
- Non-comedogenic moisturizers
And remember: covering spots with healing patches or bandages isn’t hiding—it’s protecting.
4. Mirror Time and Screen Boundaries
How to Set Safe Limits Without Shame
Mirrors are one of the most common picking or pulling triggers. The lighting. The zooming. The long, critical stares.
Here’s how to make mirror time less risky:
- Set a timer for 5 minutes max (use your phone)
- Only use the mirror once or twice a day
- Cover or block mirrors in high-risk areas (like your bedroom or phone camera)
- Use soft lighting, not harsh white lights
And here’s the big one: Avoid mirror time when you’re emotional. That’s when the urge is strongest.
Mirror-Free Skincare or “5-Minute Rule”
Try doing your skincare without looking in the mirror—use touch, tools, or a dimmed space. If that’s too tricky, follow the “5-Minute Rule”:
- Set a timer.
- Do only your skincare.
- Step away immediately when the timer buzzes.
This protects your routine without turning it into a “search and destroy” session.
Bonus hack: Put sticky notes on your mirror with kind reminders:
- “You’re healing.”
- “Don’t believe everything you see.”
- “Hands down, head high.”
5. Journaling and Mood Tracking
What to Write and Why It Helps
Journaling helps you spot patterns. It turns “I don’t know why I do this” into “Oh—I always pick during math class” or “after scrolling TikTok before bed.”
Use your journal to track:
- Triggers (what happened before you picked?)
- Time and place (were you alone, tired, stressed?)
- Mood (angry, bored, anxious, sad?)
- After-feelings (relieved? ashamed? numb?)
This helps you notice when the urge hits—and what you can do instead.
Daily Log Example and Prompts
You can use these prompts in your BFRB workbook (or your own journal):
- Today I picked/pulled/bit when…
- Before that, I felt…
- I noticed it happened while I was…
- Next time, I’ll try…
- One thing that helped today was…
The printable workbook includes customizable daily log pages and checklists to track your tools and progress.
Writing might not stop the urge completely—but it gives your brain a new place to focus, and that makes a big difference over time.
Tips for Parents and Guardians
How to Support Without Shaming
Parents often want to help, but don’t always know how. If you’re a guardian reading this, here’s what teens wish you knew:
Don’t say:
- “Just stop picking.”
- “You’re ruining your skin.”
- “You’ll regret that scar.”
Do say:
- “It looks like you’re stressed—want to talk?”
- “Do you want help finding tools that work?”
- “I know this is hard. I’m proud of you for trying.”
Be curious, not critical. Ask open-ended questions. And remind your teen that healing takes time—but they don’t have to do it alone.
Conversation Starters That Help Teens Open Up
- “When do you notice your urges getting stronger?”
- “What helps you calm down besides picking or pulling?”
- “Do you want to try some strategies together?”
Support doesn’t mean controlling. It means collaborating, listening, and encouraging.
Encouragement from Others: Teen Stories
“I Thought I Was the Only One”
Lena, 15, started pulling her eyelashes in 7th grade. “I felt like such a freak. I didn’t even know it was a real thing until I saw a YouTube video. Once I found out it was called trichotillomania, I stopped hating myself so much.”
She’s now using a tracker, seeing a therapist, and has a fidget she carries to class. “I still struggle sometimes, but now I know how to deal with it—and I know I’m not alone.”
How Coping Strategies Changed My Life
Jayden, 17, was hiding his skin picking for two years. “I used to wear band-aids all the time and lie about them. Then my therapist gave me this workbook, and I started using patches instead of picking. I journal now instead of staring in the mirror.”
His message to other teens: “You don’t have to stop all at once. Just start with something. One tool, one day. It’s worth it.”
Conclusion
If you’re a teen living with a BFRB, the most important thing you need to hear is this:
You are not broken. You are not alone. You are not your urges.
You’re someone with a unique brain doing its best to cope—and now you have new tools, habits, and support to build something better.
Start small. Pick one strategy. Use the workbook. Talk to someone you trust. And remember: healing isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress.
You’ve got this. 📘🖊️
FAQs
Are BFRBs just a phase for teens?
Not always. Some people grow out of them naturally, but for many, they continue into adulthood without support. Early intervention can make a huge difference.
Should I talk to a therapist if I have a BFRB?
Yes! Therapists trained in BFRBs or anxiety disorders can help you learn why you pick or pull—and how to stop without shame.
What if I relapse after progress?
Relapse is part of recovery. It doesn’t mean failure. It means your brain is still learning. Just restart your tools and keep going—you’re doing great.
Are there online support groups for teens?
Yes! Look for BFRB-friendly spaces on Reddit, Instagram, or ask a parent to help you find a moderated Discord or online support group.
Can I heal my skin or hair from BFRB damage?
In most cases, yes. Skin and hair often regrow and recover with time and care. And dermatologists can help with scars or long-term healing plans.
